Dating while staying true to Christian values can be a challenge for women of faith. Finding the man who can be like Boaz of the Old Testament book of Ruth may seem virtually impossible, but following these tips will simplify your search.
Christian women can and do date men who don’t share their faith, but many Christian women look for men who have similar values when it comes to looking for that soulmate.
If marriage and starting a family are long-term goals, finding someone who is like-minded in religious beliefs makes building a life together easier for couples and their extended families.
These Bible-based tips for Christian dating will make meeting a man who shares your values and faith more likely.
First, Pray about It
As a Christian, the first step in dating should be prayerfully considering why you want to find a partner. Pray for wisdom and guidance from God as you consider dating online or looking for a partner through friends or activities you enjoy.
Online or IRL?
Finding someone to date has never been easier since online dating platforms pair up those with similar values and interests. Meeting potential dates is also possible through activities you enjoy, friends, and church services.
With the busy lives many singles enjoy, online dating platforms can make meeting others easier, and there are several with a Christian focus. For instance, Christian Mingle only accepts Christians.
Christian Mingle also will group those of similar denominations, so United Methodists can find each other, as can Baptists and Presbyterians.
Using a Christian dating app ensures you’ll never have someone ghost you after you share your faith with them.
Other online dating options such as eHarmony include Christians as well as those of other faiths, but since a large majority of the U.S. identifies as Christian, you’ll have no problems finding others who share your beliefs online.
Larger metropolitan areas have Christian matchmaking services for busy professionals. Still, these services, in which a matchmaker brokers dates between you and your matches, are significantly more expensive than dating platforms and apps.
Church groups and activities can also be an opportunity to meet your potential soulmate, and friends and family can also be sources of potential dates. A plus with these methods is that you’d already know your date shares your values.
Many churches have singles Sunday school classes and groups and host mixers so singles can socialize.
If you meet dates through friends, you’d already have mutual acquaintances and possible group dates in your future.
More dating advice is available through our ‘dating advice’ section.
Heal from Past Relationships
If you are beginning to date after a break-up or a divorce, take time to heal before entering a new relationship. If you are dating only to get your ex out of your mind, it’s not fair to the new person you’re dating and could end with hurt feelings.
Instead, take the time you need to pray over the situation, use the time to grow spiritually, and journal about the qualities you would like to see in the next person you date.
Don’t Date Someone You Wouldn’t Marry
If you are dating with the hope of finding a husband, don’t date people with habits or character traits that would not make them good spouses.
Have you caught them in lies? Do they have addictions to alcohol or gambling? Is anger an issue? Is marriage not one of their goals? Do they want to play the field instead of settling down? Don’t date them if you’re marriage-minded.
The rose-colored glasses of early attraction can blind you to red flags in a dating partner. Make sure you set standards of behavior as you date. Don’t rush into a physical relationship.
Decide before you date what you are comfortable with as far as holding hands, kissing, or public displays of affection. Make sure you are clear about your standards and that they align with your values.
Consider Your Worship Traditions and Spirituality
Would you be comfortable as an Episcopalian dating a Baptist or marrying one? From Roman Catholic to Pentecostal, there are various denominations among Christians, and each worships differently. Consider this as you look for a Christian partner.
You may find that it’s easier to date within your denomination.
The Bible warns against being “unequally yoked” with a partner, meaning that your partner should have experienced an amount of spiritual growth equal to yours.
Do You Share Similar Goals?
Individual goals such as education or goals that you would share, such as owning a home, saving for the future, or starting a family, can make or break a relationship. No two people will agree on every goal, but finding agreement on most will indicate a brighter future for you both.
God placed dreams in your heart for a reason. Don’t discard those dreams in deference to a partner. This will leave you feeling disappointment and resentment later.
Listen to Wise Counsel
Parents, siblings, extended family, and close friends can all give you valuable guidance in who you date. Ask their opinions and honesty and listen carefully to any criticism they have of the people you date.
Proverbs 15:22 advises that “Without counsel, plans fail, but with many advisers, they succeed.” Those advisers should be those who know you well and have your best interests at heart.
Suggest Fun Dates
Think outside the box when suggesting activities to enjoy together. Dinner out can be boring. Go bowling, take a hike or pack a picnic basket. Volunteer together at the local food pantry or Habitat for Humanity building project.
Invite your dating partner to your church to share your worship traditions. There might even be a potluck gathering afterward. By enjoying a variety of activities together, you’ll learn more about each other.
Think about the Future
As you begin to date, thinking about the present is tempting, but you should also think about future compatibility. Where does he want to be in the next five years? Is a cross-country move in his plans?
If marriage was in the cards, would you be happy with his companionship if he’s a boring conversationalist over dinner now?
Enjoy your dates, but think about your future compatibility, too. If you have a long-term relationship in mind, think about not just your happiness today but whether you both will be happy together years from now.
Value Character over Looks
A man’s physique will change as he gets older, and his wavy hair might fall out, but his character, his faith, and how he treats you will last. Don’t fall in love with your date’s handsome looks but ignore his values.
Similarly, reflect on your own character. As another verse from Proverbs, 30:31, notes, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Beauty might attract a man at first, but your true soulmate will see the beauty of your faith and spirit. Your personality and shared values will keep him close to you.
Have You Met His Friends and Family?
Men who are serious about finding a potential wife will proudly introduce her to friends and family. If you have dated a man for months and haven’t met any friends or family members, that may be a sign that he’s not thinking of you as wife material.
Is He Too Perfect?
Is your date too perfect, saying all the right things? That might seem like a strange red flag, but pretenders who pose as dedicated Christians are out there. Someone who seems too good to be true may be exactly that.
The remedy for this is to take your relationships slow so you can learn more about your date. Over time, you’ll learn where his heart lies and how strong his faith is.
Verses on Love
The Bible includes many beautiful scriptures on the subject of love, but some of the most inspiring are Galatians 5:22, “But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control,” and the 13th chapter of I Corinthians.
That chapter begins by defining love. “Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It does not dishonor others.”
Starting a Heavenly Romance
Dating is easy, but building a relationship based on trust, honesty, and shared faith takes thought, time, and prayer.
Christian women can feel conflicted between the dating world and their faith, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Finding that special person to enjoy life with can be an extension of your Christian life, a blessing, and an opportunity to grow in faith.
Thoughtful dating can give marriages a better chance of success, which is important since about 50 percent of marriages end in divorce.
By making faith a part of your dating decisions, you have a greater chance of finding your soulmate and building a lasting relationship on a foundation of faith.